mental health · women

Sociopath: She will lie about almost everything

a portraitIt’s common to wonder what causes someone to be a sociopath as we watch in disbelief as the sociopath lies, manipulates, harms, and feels no empathy for anyone. Trying to teach empathy and emotion to a sociopath is like trying to teach a cellphone to cook a pizza. If it sounds ridiculous to teach a phone to cook a pizza, it’s because it is. A phone isn’t wired to cook, and it’s not bothered by this fact. Likewise, a sociopath’s brain isn’t wired to feel empathy or other emotions, and like the phone, the sociopath isn’t bothered about it.

Quoted from an answer in Quora about dating a sociopath: She will lie about almost everything, and if you ever call her out on it, she will deny it vehemently…to the point where you start to question yourself and your own memory.
She will create a LOT of drama. She will lie, cheat, steal, and harm people with no remorse. She will expect you to clean up her messes, and support her in her bad behavior. She’ll ask you money for rent/groceries/bills/whatever, and then spend it on new shoes or clothes.

Nothing is ever her fault. She blames others (and especially you) for all of her problems. It’s the worst relationship you could ever imagine.

It’s a nightmare, so exhausting that her cheating on you (even when you find out) is, like, the least of your worries. You won’t remember ever caring as much about the infidelity part as much as cleaning up her messes.
(Above quoted from: https://www.quora.com/How-does-it-feel-to-date-a-female-sociopath-What-are-the-signs-and-their-specific-traits)

Introduction about a sociopath condition (Quoted/partially excerpted from: http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/female_sociopaths.shtml

Female sociopaths are in their own class-they are much more manipulative than male psychopaths. We will distinguish the term “sociopath” and “psychopath” based on physical violence: psychopath is sociopath who routinely or even predominantly uses physical violence. Often they are criminals.

Female sociopaths rarely use physical violence and can much better mask their real intentions than man psychopaths-they are more patient (although the term patience and sociopath are mutually contradictory — they are after instant gratification) and can hunt for a prey somewhat longer. And probably are more dangerous when you have them close by. As a rule female sociopaths are much more vicious and vindictive than man sociopaths.

Typically, they are somewhat sadistic, especially toward women– which means that they experience pleasure from suffering of their victims. Like all sociopaths they are natural born, talented actors and have the astonishing ability to tell bare-faced lies and remain calm, utterly shameless if caught. This is the case with psychopaths in general, but with female sociopaths you really see the master class of this art. Ruthless and conniving. Can extort favors using fake pregnancies, injuries to themselves, threats to kill themselves, etc. They are really like a person, who killed her/his parents, and then asks for lesser sentence because she is now an orphan. While they are adept in masking their real mean and cruel personality some signs and discrepancies in their acting are often visible. The problem is that due to their charm the victim typically fails to pay any attention to them.

A lot of tragedies could be avoided if people who are facing something strange or inconsistent in behavior simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?” “Can it be explained as an attempt of manipulation, or bold faced lie?”

Add to that compulsive desire of winning at all cost (they are about power; such a natural born power addicts) and see other people just of tools for achieving her goals.

They roll over their victims like steamroller and feel nothing. The last sentence is impossible to understand by just reading this page, You need to see couple of movies depicting such a character and first of all Dangerous Liaisons In this film Glenn Close (she also presents similar, but more close to the borderline personality character in Fatal Attraction ) created an unforgettable character of a female sociopath. It is all about domination and power. There is no emotional attachment to anybody. Everybody is just a tool. They have no boundaries and are ready to go to the bitter end to achieve their goal.

They typically have high IQ which makes them even more dangerous if they are a member of your family or girlfriend. And they are really lethal weapon as managers. Demanding, ruthless, two-faced, manipulative, relentless and very methodical bullies. And typically they are more sophisticated. Even the murder cases involving female sociopaths are typically more complex, more devious and less direct, for example the “black widow” marries a wealthy old man and puts poison in his drink. Money are often a strong motivating factor.

To detect a female sociopath for the outsider is a very challenging task as they are masters of mimicry — natural born great artists. They usually produce a very good, positive first impression. They excel in interviews. They do not allow themselves to show their anger for people on the same level, or above them. Anger is reserved to subordinates and members of the immediate family. Despite inability to feels love, they can imitate it and they are often seductive. Love for them, like for an escort, it’s not about reality, but about creating the illusion of reality. Like in everything, here the devil is details, but people in romantic mode and under influence of psychopathic charm are rarely able to see them, until too late. The same is actually true for upper management in the corporate environment: often they do not suspect whom they are dealing with…

But for subordinates the situation is different, they are tools that do not deserve to be treated as human beings. Make no mistakes here. You will immediately:
Feel that you have been treated unfairly
Feel that you have no control over things you previously controlled.
Feel that you are under a lot of pressure. Typically with bursts of anger directly hitting at you.

(You may visit this website to read the complete article: http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/female_sociopaths.shtml)

An excerpt on what happens in the mind of the sociopath:
“Ultimately, the sociopath typically emotionally destroys those who are close to him or her, but the sociopath destroys them in a way consistent with their unique approach to others: They take them out like your average person kills off characters in a video game. Those in the wake of the sociopath suffer because they have the liability sociopaths don’t: actual human feelings that stem from a deep sense of social obligations to others, a moral anchor that is supposed to be part and parcel of having relationships.
“The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture. Where does the entitlement come from? It stems from an underlying sense of rage. Sociopaths feel deeply angry and resentful underneath their often-charming exterior, and this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time. Everything is up for grabs with sociopaths and nothing is off limits.” “Are they born this way?” is one of the most frequently asked questions. The truth is that we don’t know. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201304/understanding-the-sociopath-cause-motivation-relationship)

Quote from Mayo Clinical staff: (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/dxc-20198978?p=1)
Symptoms
Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:
• Disregard for right and wrong
• Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
• Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
• Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
• Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty
• Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
• Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
• Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
• Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
• Poor or abusive relationships
• Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
• Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations
Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Signs and symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, persistent behavior problems, such as:
• Aggression toward people and animals
• Destruction of property
• Deceitfulness
• Theft
• Serious violation of rules

WHAT TO DO WITH A SOCIOPATH?
Confronting the problem head-on. Coming to understand the nature and scope of sociopathy, acknowledging that it’s complex group of traits and behaviors that function together, and dealing with the whole rather than with little parts of it is a helpful start. Changing one aspect of a sociopath, such as trying to help her stop lying, does nothing to change the nature of a sociopath.
Adopting a systemic approach. Sociopath treatment has a better chance of working if it’s done in every system in which the sociopath functions (relationships, work, activities, etc.). Evidence shows that working with sociopaths in the field is somewhat effective in changing attitudes and behaviors. Unfortunately, evidence also shows that after initial improvement, the sociopath regresses back to his old self.
While these treatments may not be effective for adult sociopaths, they may prove helpful to the child sociopath – the child who exhibits sociopathic behaviors.

When Treatment For Sociopaths Fails
The unfortunate reality is that at this point, there is no evidence to show that a sociopath can change. Currently, there is nothing that has been proven effective as a treatment for a sociopath. Researchers and practitioners aren’t giving up, though. Can sociopaths be cured? Experts hope they can.
In the meantime, professionals advise that the best way to deal with a sociopath is to cut off all contact. Doing so may be the best treatment possible, at least for the non-sociopath. (Read more: http://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/sociopath-treatment-can-a-sociopath-change/)

Words of Wisdom to meditate on: Proverbs 2 from the Bible (NLT)
12
Wisdom will save you from evil people,
from those whose words are twisted.
13
These men turn from the right way
to walk down dark paths.
14
They take pleasure in doing wrong,
and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil.
15
Their actions are crooked,
and their ways are wrong.

16
Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman,
from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman.
17
She has abandoned her husband
and ignores the covenant she made before God.
18
Entering her house leads to death;
it is the road to the grave.
19
The man who visits her is doomed.
He will never reach the paths of life.

20
So follow the steps of the good,
and stay on the paths of the righteous.
21
For only the godly will live in the land,
and those with integrity will remain in it.
22
But the wicked will be removed from the land,
and the treacherous will be uprooted.

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