Category Archives: mental health

a fifty percent attempt

Fiftyfifty percent speaks “Fifty” is a 2015 Nigerian romantic drama film released on December 18, 2015. Fifty captures few pivotal days of four women at the pinnacle of their careers. “FIFTY – The Movie” in New Zealand follows Mal Law’s bold attempt to run 50 mountain marathons over 50 peaks in just 50 days, all around New Zealand, in order to raise an enormous amount of money for the Mental Health Foundation. “FIFTY – The Movie will inspire the armchair athlete in all of us to think outside the box, push boundaries and think what if?” (I searched the internet and found these two movies with the name, “fifty”. I have not watched them. They sound interesting just by looking at the title.)

Coming back to my own fifty interpretation. This blog was first started on 2013/9/30. On 2016/4/30 I renamed this blog. In naming this blog fifty percent perspective I tried to focus the goal of this writing on giving voice to the less heard fifty percent of the human race, i.e. the woman. I consider that a healthy, practical, sustainable intimate relationship between a man and a woman only manifests where there is true equality. This means mutual acceptance and respect in words and in deeds. This calls for an acknowledgement of the validity of the other fifty percent and giving her/him an equal value in the equilibrium of life together. In particular, I place an importance on the right and manifestation of right to speak/communicate. I admit that in some situations it is the man who becomes the less heard fifty percent. So my goal is not confined to voicing for a woman. If a man considers himself a fifty percent which is not being given a voice he may be included in this blog’s fifty percent perspective too. To me, being human means being given the right to speak and the voice to be heard.


Sociopath: She will lie about almost everything

a portraitIt’s common to wonder what causes someone to be a sociopath as we watch in disbelief as the sociopath lies, manipulates, harms, and feels no empathy for anyone. Trying to teach empathy and emotion to a sociopath is like trying to teach a cellphone to cook a pizza. If it sounds ridiculous to teach a phone to cook a pizza, it’s because it is. A phone isn’t wired to cook, and it’s not bothered by this fact. Likewise, a sociopath’s brain isn’t wired to feel empathy or other emotions, and like the phone, the sociopath isn’t bothered about it.

Quoted from an answer in Quora about dating a sociopath: She will lie about almost everything, and if you ever call her out on it, she will deny it vehemently…to the point where you start to question yourself and your own memory.
She will create a LOT of drama. She will lie, cheat, steal, and harm people with no remorse. She will expect you to clean up her messes, and support her in her bad behavior. She’ll ask you money for rent/groceries/bills/whatever, and then spend it on new shoes or clothes.

Nothing is ever her fault. She blames others (and especially you) for all of her problems. It’s the worst relationship you could ever imagine.

It’s a nightmare, so exhausting that her cheating on you (even when you find out) is, like, the least of your worries. You won’t remember ever caring as much about the infidelity part as much as cleaning up her messes.
(Above quoted from:

Introduction about a sociopath condition (Quoted/partially excerpted from:

Female sociopaths are in their own class-they are much more manipulative than male psychopaths. We will distinguish the term “sociopath” and “psychopath” based on physical violence: psychopath is sociopath who routinely or even predominantly uses physical violence. Often they are criminals.

Female sociopaths rarely use physical violence and can much better mask their real intentions than man psychopaths-they are more patient (although the term patience and sociopath are mutually contradictory — they are after instant gratification) and can hunt for a prey somewhat longer. And probably are more dangerous when you have them close by. As a rule female sociopaths are much more vicious and vindictive than man sociopaths.

Typically, they are somewhat sadistic, especially toward women– which means that they experience pleasure from suffering of their victims. Like all sociopaths they are natural born, talented actors and have the astonishing ability to tell bare-faced lies and remain calm, utterly shameless if caught. This is the case with psychopaths in general, but with female sociopaths you really see the master class of this art. Ruthless and conniving. Can extort favors using fake pregnancies, injuries to themselves, threats to kill themselves, etc. They are really like a person, who killed her/his parents, and then asks for lesser sentence because she is now an orphan. While they are adept in masking their real mean and cruel personality some signs and discrepancies in their acting are often visible. The problem is that due to their charm the victim typically fails to pay any attention to them.

A lot of tragedies could be avoided if people who are facing something strange or inconsistent in behavior simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?” “Can it be explained as an attempt of manipulation, or bold faced lie?”

Add to that compulsive desire of winning at all cost (they are about power; such a natural born power addicts) and see other people just of tools for achieving her goals.

They roll over their victims like steamroller and feel nothing. The last sentence is impossible to understand by just reading this page, You need to see couple of movies depicting such a character and first of all Dangerous Liaisons In this film Glenn Close (she also presents similar, but more close to the borderline personality character in Fatal Attraction ) created an unforgettable character of a female sociopath. It is all about domination and power. There is no emotional attachment to anybody. Everybody is just a tool. They have no boundaries and are ready to go to the bitter end to achieve their goal.

They typically have high IQ which makes them even more dangerous if they are a member of your family or girlfriend. And they are really lethal weapon as managers. Demanding, ruthless, two-faced, manipulative, relentless and very methodical bullies. And typically they are more sophisticated. Even the murder cases involving female sociopaths are typically more complex, more devious and less direct, for example the “black widow” marries a wealthy old man and puts poison in his drink. Money are often a strong motivating factor.

To detect a female sociopath for the outsider is a very challenging task as they are masters of mimicry — natural born great artists. They usually produce a very good, positive first impression. They excel in interviews. They do not allow themselves to show their anger for people on the same level, or above them. Anger is reserved to subordinates and members of the immediate family. Despite inability to feels love, they can imitate it and they are often seductive. Love for them, like for an escort, it’s not about reality, but about creating the illusion of reality. Like in everything, here the devil is details, but people in romantic mode and under influence of psychopathic charm are rarely able to see them, until too late. The same is actually true for upper management in the corporate environment: often they do not suspect whom they are dealing with…

But for subordinates the situation is different, they are tools that do not deserve to be treated as human beings. Make no mistakes here. You will immediately:
Feel that you have been treated unfairly
Feel that you have no control over things you previously controlled.
Feel that you are under a lot of pressure. Typically with bursts of anger directly hitting at you.

(You may visit this website to read the complete article:

An excerpt on what happens in the mind of the sociopath:
“Ultimately, the sociopath typically emotionally destroys those who are close to him or her, but the sociopath destroys them in a way consistent with their unique approach to others: They take them out like your average person kills off characters in a video game. Those in the wake of the sociopath suffer because they have the liability sociopaths don’t: actual human feelings that stem from a deep sense of social obligations to others, a moral anchor that is supposed to be part and parcel of having relationships.
“The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture. Where does the entitlement come from? It stems from an underlying sense of rage. Sociopaths feel deeply angry and resentful underneath their often-charming exterior, and this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time. Everything is up for grabs with sociopaths and nothing is off limits.” “Are they born this way?” is one of the most frequently asked questions. The truth is that we don’t know. (

Quote from Mayo Clinical staff: (
Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:
• Disregard for right and wrong
• Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
• Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
• Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
• Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty
• Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
• Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
• Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
• Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
• Poor or abusive relationships
• Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
• Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations
Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Signs and symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, persistent behavior problems, such as:
• Aggression toward people and animals
• Destruction of property
• Deceitfulness
• Theft
• Serious violation of rules

Confronting the problem head-on. Coming to understand the nature and scope of sociopathy, acknowledging that it’s complex group of traits and behaviors that function together, and dealing with the whole rather than with little parts of it is a helpful start. Changing one aspect of a sociopath, such as trying to help her stop lying, does nothing to change the nature of a sociopath.
Adopting a systemic approach. Sociopath treatment has a better chance of working if it’s done in every system in which the sociopath functions (relationships, work, activities, etc.). Evidence shows that working with sociopaths in the field is somewhat effective in changing attitudes and behaviors. Unfortunately, evidence also shows that after initial improvement, the sociopath regresses back to his old self.
While these treatments may not be effective for adult sociopaths, they may prove helpful to the child sociopath – the child who exhibits sociopathic behaviors.

When Treatment For Sociopaths Fails
The unfortunate reality is that at this point, there is no evidence to show that a sociopath can change. Currently, there is nothing that has been proven effective as a treatment for a sociopath. Researchers and practitioners aren’t giving up, though. Can sociopaths be cured? Experts hope they can.
In the meantime, professionals advise that the best way to deal with a sociopath is to cut off all contact. Doing so may be the best treatment possible, at least for the non-sociopath. (Read more:

Words of Wisdom to meditate on: Proverbs 2 from the Bible (NLT)
Wisdom will save you from evil people,
from those whose words are twisted.
These men turn from the right way
to walk down dark paths.
They take pleasure in doing wrong,
and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil.
Their actions are crooked,
and their ways are wrong.

Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman,
from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman.
She has abandoned her husband
and ignores the covenant she made before God.
Entering her house leads to death;
it is the road to the grave.
The man who visits her is doomed.
He will never reach the paths of life.

So follow the steps of the good,
and stay on the paths of the righteous.
For only the godly will live in the land,
and those with integrity will remain in it.
But the wicked will be removed from the land,
and the treacherous will be uprooted.

not the weaker sex/gender

charityI feel compelled to say something about the cliché and stereo-typing some people or media use about gender differences. It is wrong and deceptive to keep using the “cliché” that woman belongs to a weaker sex/gender and should be treated likewise. In certain nation the society/community tries to use law to confine woman to the weaker and thus vulnerable social economic political category. I personally do not think that will help to protect woman and children or the aged. Based on my experience from study, travel and observation including interviews, I have found strength in woman that a society obsessed with past tradition and prejudices will not find. It is a real tragedy for one half of mankind to be overlooked this way.
Will woman be protected by a law that emphasizes her weak/vulnerable physical characteristics? An honest study of the nations of the world and you will discover that the answer s a definite NO.
On the other hand nations or societies that emphasize woman’s strength and ability to contribute actually benefit from this positive and realistic outlook and attitude. By now the world is fully aware that brawn and physical force do not rule the world. Brain and religious/spiritual belief do. Woman excels in the latter fields.
Our focus to make the world or our nation a better and safer place for our children and the elderly citizens should not be focused on merely making physical law to restrain as evil can only be restrained and removed when we raise a new generation of socially-responsible, pro-team-building, good-neighborly, non-violent, patient, kind, gentle, nurturing, self-less, and honest people with integrity who are willing and capable to work hard for themselves and for others. Woman by nature has these intrinsic values and can qualify and contribute to this positive nation-building effort tremendously.
Coercive control can only breed discord and hatred. On the subject of focusing on the supposedly risk of man dressed up as woman and infiltrates the toilets to do harm to woman, if you insist on using the Law, to be physically effective you need to post woman armed guards at every public toilet. You need to arm the air-hostesses to guard the airplane toilets. You need to arm all the girls in the co-ed schools. You need to give all the female population training on how to use a gun. You need to give lessons for the physically weaker boys too as they too may become victims. You need to train the older people too, the less advantaged people who are more vulnerable to mugging and violence too, the people of colors that are more subject to being victimized too…the list of the world is endless for the vulnerable.
Conditioning is a powerful weapon. Brain washing has been effectively used by many evil totalitarian regimes until the victims are exposed to another conditioning.
I have no answer to the sorry state of the world.
My personal conviction is to start by positive teaching and good-conditioning of our younger ones on the principles and values set by Jesus. Love does not demand its own way.

1 Corinthians 13 New King James Version (NKJV)
The Greatest Gift
13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 10 But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.


1 Corinthians 13:3 NU-Text reads so I may boast.

A mother’s tears: two haiku

2015-11-02 10.10.22they  colored her tears

transparent lace over matters

stone cold deadened hearts


2015-11-02 10.10.45would not be consoled

tears gathered into river

weeping for her child