mental health · women

Sociopath: She will lie about almost everything

a portraitIt’s common to wonder what causes someone to be a sociopath as we watch in disbelief as the sociopath lies, manipulates, harms, and feels no empathy for anyone. Trying to teach empathy and emotion to a sociopath is like trying to teach a cellphone to cook a pizza. If it sounds ridiculous to teach a phone to cook a pizza, it’s because it is. A phone isn’t wired to cook, and it’s not bothered by this fact. Likewise, a sociopath’s brain isn’t wired to feel empathy or other emotions, and like the phone, the sociopath isn’t bothered about it.

Quoted from an answer in Quora about dating a sociopath: She will lie about almost everything, and if you ever call her out on it, she will deny it vehemently…to the point where you start to question yourself and your own memory.
She will create a LOT of drama. She will lie, cheat, steal, and harm people with no remorse. She will expect you to clean up her messes, and support her in her bad behavior. She’ll ask you money for rent/groceries/bills/whatever, and then spend it on new shoes or clothes.

Nothing is ever her fault. She blames others (and especially you) for all of her problems. It’s the worst relationship you could ever imagine.

It’s a nightmare, so exhausting that her cheating on you (even when you find out) is, like, the least of your worries. You won’t remember ever caring as much about the infidelity part as much as cleaning up her messes.
(Above quoted from: https://www.quora.com/How-does-it-feel-to-date-a-female-sociopath-What-are-the-signs-and-their-specific-traits)

Introduction about a sociopath condition (Quoted/partially excerpted from: http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/female_sociopaths.shtml

Female sociopaths are in their own class-they are much more manipulative than male psychopaths. We will distinguish the term “sociopath” and “psychopath” based on physical violence: psychopath is sociopath who routinely or even predominantly uses physical violence. Often they are criminals.

Female sociopaths rarely use physical violence and can much better mask their real intentions than man psychopaths-they are more patient (although the term patience and sociopath are mutually contradictory — they are after instant gratification) and can hunt for a prey somewhat longer. And probably are more dangerous when you have them close by. As a rule female sociopaths are much more vicious and vindictive than man sociopaths.

Typically, they are somewhat sadistic, especially toward women– which means that they experience pleasure from suffering of their victims. Like all sociopaths they are natural born, talented actors and have the astonishing ability to tell bare-faced lies and remain calm, utterly shameless if caught. This is the case with psychopaths in general, but with female sociopaths you really see the master class of this art. Ruthless and conniving. Can extort favors using fake pregnancies, injuries to themselves, threats to kill themselves, etc. They are really like a person, who killed her/his parents, and then asks for lesser sentence because she is now an orphan. While they are adept in masking their real mean and cruel personality some signs and discrepancies in their acting are often visible. The problem is that due to their charm the victim typically fails to pay any attention to them.

A lot of tragedies could be avoided if people who are facing something strange or inconsistent in behavior simply take the time to ask, “What else could this mean?” “Can it be explained as an attempt of manipulation, or bold faced lie?”

Add to that compulsive desire of winning at all cost (they are about power; such a natural born power addicts) and see other people just of tools for achieving her goals.

They roll over their victims like steamroller and feel nothing. The last sentence is impossible to understand by just reading this page, You need to see couple of movies depicting such a character and first of all Dangerous Liaisons In this film Glenn Close (she also presents similar, but more close to the borderline personality character in Fatal Attraction ) created an unforgettable character of a female sociopath. It is all about domination and power. There is no emotional attachment to anybody. Everybody is just a tool. They have no boundaries and are ready to go to the bitter end to achieve their goal.

They typically have high IQ which makes them even more dangerous if they are a member of your family or girlfriend. And they are really lethal weapon as managers. Demanding, ruthless, two-faced, manipulative, relentless and very methodical bullies. And typically they are more sophisticated. Even the murder cases involving female sociopaths are typically more complex, more devious and less direct, for example the “black widow” marries a wealthy old man and puts poison in his drink. Money are often a strong motivating factor.

To detect a female sociopath for the outsider is a very challenging task as they are masters of mimicry — natural born great artists. They usually produce a very good, positive first impression. They excel in interviews. They do not allow themselves to show their anger for people on the same level, or above them. Anger is reserved to subordinates and members of the immediate family. Despite inability to feels love, they can imitate it and they are often seductive. Love for them, like for an escort, it’s not about reality, but about creating the illusion of reality. Like in everything, here the devil is details, but people in romantic mode and under influence of psychopathic charm are rarely able to see them, until too late. The same is actually true for upper management in the corporate environment: often they do not suspect whom they are dealing with…

But for subordinates the situation is different, they are tools that do not deserve to be treated as human beings. Make no mistakes here. You will immediately:
Feel that you have been treated unfairly
Feel that you have no control over things you previously controlled.
Feel that you are under a lot of pressure. Typically with bursts of anger directly hitting at you.

(You may visit this website to read the complete article: http://www.softpanorama.org/Social/Toxic_managers/female_sociopaths.shtml)

An excerpt on what happens in the mind of the sociopath:
“Ultimately, the sociopath typically emotionally destroys those who are close to him or her, but the sociopath destroys them in a way consistent with their unique approach to others: They take them out like your average person kills off characters in a video game. Those in the wake of the sociopath suffer because they have the liability sociopaths don’t: actual human feelings that stem from a deep sense of social obligations to others, a moral anchor that is supposed to be part and parcel of having relationships.
“The sense of entitlement that comes with sociopathy is astonishing to those who abide by the social laws and conventions of our culture. Where does the entitlement come from? It stems from an underlying sense of rage. Sociopaths feel deeply angry and resentful underneath their often-charming exterior, and this rage fuels their sense that they have the right to act out in whichever way they happen to choose at the time. Everything is up for grabs with sociopaths and nothing is off limits.” “Are they born this way?” is one of the most frequently asked questions. The truth is that we don’t know. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201304/understanding-the-sociopath-cause-motivation-relationship)

Quote from Mayo Clinical staff: (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/antisocial-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/dxc-20198978?p=1)
Symptoms
Antisocial personality disorder signs and symptoms may include:
• Disregard for right and wrong
• Persistent lying or deceit to exploit others
• Being callous, cynical and disrespectful of others
• Using charm or wit to manipulate others for personal gain or personal pleasure
• Arrogance, a sense of superiority and being extremely opinionated
• Recurring problems with the law, including criminal behavior
• Repeatedly violating the rights of others through intimidation and dishonesty
• Impulsiveness or failure to plan ahead
• Hostility, significant irritability, agitation, aggression or violence
• Lack of empathy for others and lack of remorse about harming others
• Unnecessary risk-taking or dangerous behavior with no regard for the safety of self or others
• Poor or abusive relationships
• Failure to consider the negative consequences of behavior or learn from them
• Being consistently irresponsible and repeatedly failing to fulfill work or financial obligations
Adults with antisocial personality disorder typically show symptoms of conduct disorder before the age of 15. Signs and symptoms of conduct disorder include serious, persistent behavior problems, such as:
• Aggression toward people and animals
• Destruction of property
• Deceitfulness
• Theft
• Serious violation of rules

WHAT TO DO WITH A SOCIOPATH?
Confronting the problem head-on. Coming to understand the nature and scope of sociopathy, acknowledging that it’s complex group of traits and behaviors that function together, and dealing with the whole rather than with little parts of it is a helpful start. Changing one aspect of a sociopath, such as trying to help her stop lying, does nothing to change the nature of a sociopath.
Adopting a systemic approach. Sociopath treatment has a better chance of working if it’s done in every system in which the sociopath functions (relationships, work, activities, etc.). Evidence shows that working with sociopaths in the field is somewhat effective in changing attitudes and behaviors. Unfortunately, evidence also shows that after initial improvement, the sociopath regresses back to his old self.
While these treatments may not be effective for adult sociopaths, they may prove helpful to the child sociopath – the child who exhibits sociopathic behaviors.

When Treatment For Sociopaths Fails
The unfortunate reality is that at this point, there is no evidence to show that a sociopath can change. Currently, there is nothing that has been proven effective as a treatment for a sociopath. Researchers and practitioners aren’t giving up, though. Can sociopaths be cured? Experts hope they can.
In the meantime, professionals advise that the best way to deal with a sociopath is to cut off all contact. Doing so may be the best treatment possible, at least for the non-sociopath. (Read more: http://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/sociopath/sociopath-treatment-can-a-sociopath-change/)

Words of Wisdom to meditate on: Proverbs 2 from the Bible (NLT)
12
Wisdom will save you from evil people,
from those whose words are twisted.
13
These men turn from the right way
to walk down dark paths.
14
They take pleasure in doing wrong,
and they enjoy the twisted ways of evil.
15
Their actions are crooked,
and their ways are wrong.

16
Wisdom will save you from the immoral woman,
from the seductive words of the promiscuous woman.
17
She has abandoned her husband
and ignores the covenant she made before God.
18
Entering her house leads to death;
it is the road to the grave.
19
The man who visits her is doomed.
He will never reach the paths of life.

20
So follow the steps of the good,
and stay on the paths of the righteous.
21
For only the godly will live in the land,
and those with integrity will remain in it.
22
But the wicked will be removed from the land,
and the treacherous will be uprooted.

biography · Chrisitan woman · why not woman · woman story

a woman of finance background to watch

andrea Lead.jpg
She is steadfast and confident, honest and reliable.A tower of strength for those she cares for and a rock to the family.
“We have a bright future outside the EU.

In total 170 countries in the world are outside the EU. Most of them have sensible trading arrangements, including with Europe, and workable immigration policies. This is not some fantasy land. This is the normal operating basis of four-fifths of the globe.
And we are in such a strong position to make the most of the opportunity. We are the fifth largest economy, with great natural advantages including our language, legal system, the great City of London, and our great trading history and creative and engineering talents. Nearly eighty per cent of the world’s GDP lies outside the EU and, in marked contrast to the EU, most of it is growing strongly. We need to embrace that opportunity to ensure our future prosperity.”

Biography
Andrea was born in Buckinghamshire and attended Tonbridge Girls Grammar School in Kent, followed by Warwick University. She holds a degree in Political Science.

After university Andrea began a career in the banking and finance industry that would last 25 years. Andrea’s career included 10 years in BZW and Barclays where she worked in swaps and treasury, project finance, structured projects and then moved to Barclays Head Office to become Financial Institutions Director. In 1995 she helped the then Governor of the Bank of England, Eddie George, over the weekend that Barings collapsed as he tried to reassure the markets and prevent a run on the banks. Andrea more recently held positions as Managing Director of a start up London based funds management company and then spent ten years as Head of Corporate Governance and Senior Investment Officer at Invesco Perpetual, one of the UK’s largest retail fund managers.

Alongside her business career, Andrea was a Trustee, and for 9 years Chairman, of a children’s charity, the Oxford Parent Infant Project (OXPIP), which helps families that are struggling to form a secure bond with their new babies. In 2011, Andrea established the Northamptonshire Parent Infant Partnership (NORPIP), as a sister charity to OXPIP, and in 2012 established PIP UK, a new charitable foundation, whose purpose will be to support the roll out of Parent Infant Partnerships around the country. PIP UK offers practical and financial support for the establishment of new PIPs.

Andrea has wanted to be an MP since she was 13 and has been a Conservative activist since University. She was elected as a Councillor on South Oxfordshire District Council between 2003 and 2007, and contested Knowsley South in the 2005 general election.

In May 2010, Andrea was elected as the first MP for South Northamptonshire with a majority of over 20,000.

Andrea was elected in 2010 to the Treasury Select Committee. She has also held posts as Chairman of the APPG on Sure Starts, and Chairman of the APPG on the 1001 Critical Days – conception to age two; she was founder and co-Chairman with a Labour MP of the APPG for European Reform and founded the Fresh Start Project in Parliament that works towards establishing a new relationship for Britain within the EU.

In April 2014, Andrea joined the Government as Economic Secretary to the Treasury, taking responsibility for Financial Services.

Andrea is married to Ben and has three children and in her free time enjoys cycling, walking in the Northamptonshire countryside and spending time with her family.

Andrea comes from the Latin meaning “Womanly” or “Beautiful Lady”. She is steadfast and confident, honest and reliable.A tower of strength for those she cares for and a rock to the family.
That girl is quite the andrea.
Andrea Leadsom, MP for South Northamptonshire. Wife, Mother. Leave campaigner.
http://www.andrealeadsom.com/home/home

biography · Chrisitan woman · God's love · woman missionary · woman of faith · woman story

“If you just work hard enough, you will get there.”

“If you just work hard enough, you will get there.” Her life was remarkable, characterized by the confidence that she can accomplish whatever is required because of her trust in the Lord.

In the midst of World War II, Margaret studied medicine in London. She topped the class with Paul Brand as second. Despite their brilliant academic performance, both were committed followers of Christ and dedicated their lives to serve God in a third world country. They both pioneered practices in the treatment of leprosy in India and throughout the world. Almost by accident, without formal training in eye diseases, she became an ophthalmologist and one of the foremost authorities in the field of ocular leprosy. You will be encouraged and inspired by the remarkable impact of this medical pioneer in the field of leprosy and by her vision for God. Her work in medicine and rehabilitation has literally touched the lives of millions, and her quiet, humble leanings upon her Lord and Savior has touched perhaps even more lives. Through this unique biography/autobiography, we have, for the first time, a look at the personal life and world-renown work of this great medical pioneer. we see the record of a woman who was firstly a disciple of Jesus Christ, and an example for professional women in combining responsible motherhood of six children with pursuit of an outstanding clinical career. The pace of the storytelling is such that one ends a chapter wondering what is going to happen in the next. Human interest events combine with objective reporting to provide a wealth of quotable insights.
Dr. Paul Wilson Brand, CBE (17 July 1914 – 8 July 2003) was a pioneer in developing tendon transfer techniques for use in the hands of those with leprosy. He was the first physician to appreciate that leprosy did not cause the rotting away of tissues, but that it was the loss of the sensation of pain which made sufferers susceptible to injury. Brand contributed extensively to the fields of hand surgery and hand therapy through his publications and lectures, and wrote popular autobiographical books about his childhood, his parents’ missionary work, and his philosophy about the valuable properties of pain. One of his best known books, co-written with Philip Yancey, is Pain: The Gift Nobody Wants (1993), republished in 1997 as The Gift of Pain. His wife of 61 years of a happy and fulfilling marriage, Dr. Margaret Brand lived until 95 and passed away in 2014.

(The above information is taken from various internet sources: Vision for God: The Story of Dr. Margaret Brand Paperback – September 1, 2006)

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Why not women: A Biblical Study of Women in Missions, Ministry, and Leadership
“We did not write this book for the millions of women who are happy and secure in their roles. Our passion was for the hundreds of millions of women who are not free. It was for their sake, and for the final completion of the task of taking the Good News to them, that we wrote this book.”

Multiplied millions of women all over the world are looking over the church’s shoulder, longing to see the freedom Jesus purchased for them at Calvary. Millions more have found freedom in Jesus but are still bound by human ideas-ideas that pressure a woman to let culture, not God, determine her place in the Kingdom.

While hurting men and women are outside the church cry out, “Is there any hope? Does anyone care?” their sisters in the church are asking, “How can I share the hope I have” How can I, a woman, serve the Lord?” Many women, having heard God call them into public roles in the Kingdom, are serving in positions of leadership. They are asking, “Will the church support us?”

We must respond. The issue of women in missions, ministry, and leadership is dividing homes, churches, communities, even societies. We must respond responsibly, for we never want to find ourselves working against God’s purposes, quenching His Spirit at work in the lives of those He has called. We must respond carefully, since God’s truth often stands in direct opposition to what the majority of people believe. The book includes a recommended resource list, Endnotes for each chapter 1-18 with a final word, short author biographies and related book lists.
(quoted from Amazon)
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Chrisitan woman · daughter of God · love story · photography · thoughts · woman writers · women · writing

She said,“I like adventures, and I’m going to find some.” (short quotes)

sail my shipLouisa May Alcott quotes

“Preserve your memories, keep them well, what you forget you can never retell.”

“Life is like college; may I graduate and earn some honors.”

“I like adventures, and I’m going to find some.”

“Well, if I can’t be happy, I can be useful, perhaps.”
“I ask not for any crown
But that which all may win;
Nor try to conquer any world
Except the one within.”

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”

“A faithful friend is a strong defense;
And he that hath found him hath found a treasure.”

“The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely.”

“I want to do something splendid…
Something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead…
I think I shall write books.”

“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us – and those around us – more effectively. Look for the learning.”

“Nothing is impossible to a determined woman.”-Behind a Mask: The Unknown Thrillers of Louisa May Alcott

“She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.”
―Work: A Story of Experience

“That is a good book it seems to me, which is opened with expectation and closed with profit.”
“Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can”
―Rose in Bloom

“Wild roses are fairest, and nature a better gardener than art.” ― A Long Fatal Love Chase

“The emerging woman … will be strong-minded, strong-hearted, strong-souled, and strong-bodied…strength and beauty must go together.” “A real gentleman is as polite to a little girl as to a woman.” ―An Old-Fashioned Girl

“Simple, genuine goodness is the best capital to found the business of this life upon. It lasts when fame and money fail, and is the only riches we can take out of this world with us.”“Love is a flower that grows in any soil, works its sweet miracles undaunted by autumn frost or winter snow, blooming fair and fragrant all the year, and blessing those who give and those who receive.” ―Little Men

“Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.”
―Little Women Book Two Book: Good Wives

The following are quotes from Little Women: (See the heart of a writer)

“I like good strong words that mean something…”

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.”

“Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don’t let it spoil you, for it’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”

“Love is a great beautifier.”

“Because they are mean is no reason why I should be. I hate such things, and though I think I’ve a right to be hurt, I don’t intend to show it. (Amy March)”

“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”

“…for love casts out fear, and gratitude can conquer pride.”

“Let us be elegant or die!”

“Don’t try to make me grow up before my time…”

“Be worthy love, and love will come.”

“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)”

“You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one… if he’s the right one.”

“You are the gull, Jo, strong and wild, fond of the storm and the wind, flying far out to sea, and happy all alone.”

“…the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.”

“Conceit spoils the finest genius.”

“Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow…”

“Every few weeks she would shut herself up in her room, put on her scribbling suit, and fall into a vortex, as she expressed it, writing away at her novel with all her heart and soul, for till that was finished she could find no peace.”

“Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”

“I think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams, and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing why or being able to explain them.”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if all the castles in the air which we make could come true and we could live in them?”

“I wish I had no heart, it aches so…”

“A quick temper, sharp tongue, and restless spirit were always getting her into scrapes, and her life was a series of ups and downs, which were both comic and pathetic.”

“If we are all alive ten years hence, let’s meet, and see how many of us have got our wishes, or how much nearer we are then than now.”

“I could have been a great many things.”

“life and love are very precious when both are in full bloom.”

“…tomorrow was her birthday, and she was thinking how fast the years went by, how old she was getting, and how little she seemed to have accomplished. Almost twenty-five and nothing to show for it.”

“…and Jo laid the rustling sheets together with a careful hand, as one might shut the covers of a lovely romance, which holds the reader fast till the end comes, and he finds himself alone in the work-a-day world again.”