Rambling thoughts: Gender Polarization and solution (updated June 8, 2020)

woman’s In Christ position

Gender polarization is an ancient monster that has reared its ugly head menacingly and is increasingly prowling around looking for victims to devour in this time. But I cannot remember my siblings and I being deliberately brought up in the polarization way. We were just flowing with life and circumstances.

In my family the women could appear stronger than the men. For example, when a gigantic venomous monitor lizard (or viper) entered our house the men (my dad and eldest brother) ran away and my mom was the one who took up a weapon (a long sharp metal something) pierced the head of the monster and pinned it to the ground. She shouted for the man folk to return and deal with the threshing dying beast. They had no clue what to do. So she instructed them to fetch a tough huge sack so she could cast it into it, tie the sack up and ask them to cart it to the back yard and burn it to ashes. We children were stunned and awed by the cool, composed, tough and bloodless execution all done without display of any emotion on her part.

If my eldest sister was home she probably would have run away too. As for me? I neither fled nor fought. I was just a curious eight years old bystander. Courage is not gender specific. When we kids grow up and have our own family we have displayed immense courage too when needed to protect our loved ones. I cannot think of any specific trait labelled gender-specific in my family.

No, my mom was not a superwoman of gigantic size and power. She was a beautiful, elegant, intelligent and knowledgeable average size business woman from a lineage of scholarly and godly genteel background. She was considered the best dressed woman for all time in the oil and gas frontier town where she lived most of her adult life. She rose to the monster-killing occasion when needed. Her goal? Protect her little chicks (including a toddler and an infant) like a mother hen does. After the incident she sat down and continued her afternoon tea as if nothing had happened. Then she instructed us to return to our homework. She was capable of and focused on multitasking as the circumstances required. That was my typical mom.

So where do all these ugly scenes of gender polarization out there come from? Knowing where they come from helps us to resolve them or kill them, just as my mom did with the “monster”.

What about running to the street and crying wolves? You may be too late. The monster (mobster) is really big and evil out there and its sole purpose is to use you and other human to steal, kill and destroy everything human value and love.

What is the solution? This is a question for every Christian to turn inward and ask oneself. One thing I know, aligning with the polarization monster will not bring salvation or deliverance. Whatever you do, if the outcome is creating more self-focus, more me vs others, more hurt and more destruction, more exclusiveness and demonization of others, then your alignment is with the death monster and not with the super-abundant life that God has promised and given you and your loved ones in Christ Jesus.

My solution? Come to the point where our sole identity is “in Christ”. surprised? Women are also in Christ! Start afresh from this equality foundation. Unshakable. Seeing yourself the way that God has made you in Christ will change how you think about yourself and that matters most. God is a lot more concerned with where you are going than where you came from. God is in the spiritual realm. He has the best thoughts for you. Why don’t you go to Him for your inner healing instead of calling out the dead and let other more destructive men use you for their ends?

Last word: don’t go after the wrong men and expect them to recognize your real worth. Go after the One you know will never reject you (because you are a woman). His name is Jesus.

Matthew 26:13 I assure you: Wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be told in memory of her.” Said Jesus of a woman who shows her priceless love for Jesus because she alone (among all the important men who are there) recognizes He really is Who He says He is, the Son of God, the Savior. And she knows He will make history. And she too (unknowingly) in her faith in action by anointing Jesus before He went to the cross.

favorites: remember the good times

my All-Time Favorites
All the above were posted in this blog each with its own history…

awakening women in economics

Awakening
“Women have awoken.” Some reporters/editors/media opinion might describe women this way when they pen some news about women taking part in some public group actions occasionally. Let us not congratulate ourselves too soon as we read their remark. The remark implies only one thing: women/some women had been sleeping beauties all this while. This is of course nonsense.

For the information of the uninitiated, most women have always been wide awake. We know what goes on. But we just do not talk about it with you. We also know better than to join ourselves with actions which we know are subject to manipulations by ulterior motive/secret agenda with which we do not agree. Why should we lend you our strength? We each have one vote with equal power as yours. We speak with votes. We are the silent but effective majority.

What are our agenda? We are committed to taking care of and training our children on the right track for their future. We know what it means if we support a social/cultural/political misconception that it is good to steal from another’s purse. No, we are not proud of any form of stealing (in whatever nice name/philosophy like “equal-distribution” you may dress it). Why? Because it can only mean one thing: that our children are inferior and must have some forms of handicaps to help them to survive. No. We are not proud of that connotation. We are not proud of being classified by any classification that would render us to be subject to handout/quota/special treatment. We refuse to wear that hat.

Traditionally, once upon a time, in fairy tales, women were admired for being sleeping beauties. But, man, get real. We are wide awake and we have purposed in our hearts to impart to our children the awake values and strategies: just, honest, ethical, motivated, diligent, intelligent, and wise, committed to a profession, a trade, a craft, a labor, a work effort and a production in prospering the economy, social development and nation building. Yes, you will be surprised, we women know economics better than you do.

Judges 5:12 New King James Version (NKJV)
12 “Awake, awake, Deborah!
Awake, awake, sing a song!
Arise, Barak, and lead your captives away,
O son of Abinoam!

The woman movement and God, a testimony: does God care about you?

This is relevant today. Some women are still angry with God and with their issues that seem not resolved because of many man-made blockages. Please read on…

1 Corinthians 11:11 Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. 12 For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.

Women in their best

Some women are very angry. They decide to take matters into their own hands and walk down the street to make their voices heard. I know how it hurts or infuriates oneself when one feels that others are not listening, or worse, perhaps mocking or scoffing in their hearts. It hurts to be considered and treated as a second best or third best or not even a human who matters (in some societies). Gender, age, color, race, looks, nationality. All these matter to the physical world. Discrimination means her physical rights and entitlement are taken away from her because of her age, gender, looks, race, color or nationality (even if she has the right color, race, or looks). Indeed, in the fallen world, all men are not born equal. This is not a new issue. Some women may not know this, gender men are not born equal too. Have things improved since…

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a friend not weathered

a friend not Weathered.

We have a friend who is a friend to many travelers. She is about six (42 years old in human term). She lives alone guarding her absentee master’s house. Sometimes some visitors stay longer and become her friends. A few become her family. When we hear her making strange sounds at the gate we know one of her family members has come to visit and is parking a car nearby. often she comes to the side door and speaks politely and invites one person to go play in the park outside. When we are too engrossed in our own conversation she gets a bit concerned and would knock loudly to drown out our noises. we have some relatives who come but spend their whole time outside playing with this very hospital and friendly family member who has been waiting for this moment for days or perhaps weeks. One of my nieces does that. she will let her mom get inside to talk to others and she herself stays outside to play with the lonely dog who is elated at such focused attention.

a bit of kind attention makes her very happy. i must of course warn that she is untrained. she does not obey any command. some of us use the word, “sit” and some use the word “inside” (meaning to sit inside a cage). the trouble is that in a park during the current weather there is hardly any dry patch to sit on. during the last makeover of the house her old cage was given away too. so both commands no longer apply these days.

those in the grand (age group) category adopt the strategy of let it be. just let this little friend run wild. but you need to carry a leash (without tying her) to pretend that you are in control in case anyone complains. why can’t you tie her to your leash as the law requires? because you just cannot out run her. you also need to prepare a bowl of food to lure her inside your gate once you get too tired to continue your park presence.

for those who ask, yes, she is just a mongrel puppy abandoned by someone at the door step of a church. no, she is well looked after and is running strong. she is not weathered. in many ways she is a faithful friend because she does not forget anyone who has lived here even after a prolonged absence for many months. how do we know? she just makes a specific endearing sound to address you when you return. in fact she announces to the neighborhood as you park your car outside. so those inside the house always know who is coming.

2017 favorites: grand old style and Harrods’ high tea rambling

this randomly taken picture came out this surreal way inside a hotel room!

brand new modern airport terminal showing coexistence

just being grand old

back to simply basic and real

2017 Favorites while traveling. Did I enjoy the travel? Well, sometimes I did. It is the company that matters really. But I prefer most my own comfy home sweet home. A warning to all in the grand category: be prepared for grand kids shooting up. They can grow up too fast into the sophistication of the society in a short span of one year.

P/s: On the other hand, I did love the afternoon high tea at Harrods with the grown up kids. (not mine)

A morning in travel time: Why is your poetry so normal?

With a favorite poet

“Poetry does not feed a physical hunger,” she said. “But I persisted because of how it has allowed me to develop as a person spiritually.”
“If you are too focused on the technical elements – getting the how and what right – you can forget the why. The why, for me, is what makes the poem succeed.
“Writing is a form of prayer for me,”
“It is never about you as the writer, but the art you bring to society.”
(Quotes from poet Anne Lee Tzu Pheng)

Excerpts from her poem “Why is your poetry so normal?”
Because this is meant to be human;
a familiar voice, plain, intelligible,
and close to home.
Somewhere in you, I know,
you have the same voice too…
Why should I choose
to lose you in a maze as if I’m, hiding from you? I’d rather
take your hand and lead us through.
This crazy road of life
is challenging enough.
So listen: what’s worth saying
is worth saying strong and clear,
for the words we catch to serve us
will work their worth and more, if not
mistreated, disrespected, or despised-
become abnormal utterance-
as would be done, if used to make a poem
it’s unmade before begun.”
(Excerpts from “Why is your poem so normal?” from Catching Connections, poems, prosexcursions, crucifictions, 2012)

an evanescent rose: random perspective

An Evanescent  rose. I took this picture in late November 2015 at Santa Cruz, CA. I have a soft spot for roses. Is it because of their beauty despite the thorns? Or should I rephrase my question to, is it because of their beauty in having the thorns? I believe there are two perspectives. One can view the thorns as encumbrances. Another may view the thorns as added advantages. I like to think that the thorns of a rose demonstrate the strength of an otherwise seemingly fragile looking flower. I do not like to liken a rose to a woman or vice versa. But if anyone ever thinks of a woman as a rose, please also think of the thorns, that is, the inherent strength of a woman. No, women are not the weaker ones.

a word of comfort to a woman of faith

KJV

Luke 8:48

And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.

AMPC

And He said to her, Daughter, your faith (your confidence and trust in Me) has made you well! Go (enter) into peace (untroubled, undisturbed well-being).

MSG

Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed!”

a decorative path of love

The 16th Avenue Tiled Steps project has been a neighborhood effort to create a beautiful mosaic running up the risers of the 163 steps located at 16th and Moraga in San Francisco. The residents had been working on this project since January of 2003. It was inspired by the famous stairs in Rio De Janero, these steps were meticulously created over a summer to build a beautiful walkway for the whole city to enjoy. Artists Aileen Barr and Colette Crutcher led the creation of the 163 mosaic panels that were applied to the step risers, over 300 neighbors joined us in making them, and over 220 neighbors sponsored handmade animal, bird and fish name tiles imbedded within the mosaic.

To get to the Mosaic Steps you would take the bus from Golden Gate Park (about 15 minutes away) and then get off around 16th avenue. Approaching from 16th avenue you can immediately see the Mosaic Steps as they ascend to Grand View Park. After walking up the two blocks of steep streets (like everything in San Francisco) you will reach the base of the steps.

Are steps up the slope considered a Path ?

Enjoy climbing the decorative path, which may be viewed as a labor of love from a group of neighborly people. Their labor is not in vain.

Luke 10:29 But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”
Luke 10:36 So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”

Matthew 22:37-40 New King James Version (NKJV)
37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

a love poem to end and to begin

I suddenly feel that I must give you a poem. I have no original poem good enough for you. So I give you my translation of another poet from a distant land. I pray you are well and strong. I found your old picture in my long forgotten album. The same smile. The same wind-blown hair. The same frown as you look into the bright light. I really like this dream for a moment. A new Anticipation .

[A First Meeting] (translated by this blogger)
a beautiful dream and poem alike
perchance spontaneous musing
often in stunning moments revealed

I like this kind of dream

wherein we always begin afresh
slowly unhurriedly explaining all
forlorn time bygone feeling retold
restoring ecstatic gratitude of old

my heart overflowing with glee
because you are here with me
you smile as in years that flee

I really like this kind of dream

I know you have traveled thousands of miles for me
yet I feel like the fisherman who has stumbled into your world anew*
like we have just met afresh

[初相遇](original by a Mongolian painter and poetess Xi-Mu-Rong)
美丽的梦和美丽的诗一样
都是可遇而不可求的
常常在最没能料到的时刻里出现

我喜欢那样的梦
在梦里 一切都可以重新开始
一切都可以慢慢解释
心里甚至还能感觉到所有被浪费的时光
竟然都能重回时的狂喜和感激

胸怀中满溢著幸福
只因为你就在我眼前
对我微笑 一如当年
我真喜欢那样的梦

明明知道你已为我跋涉千里
却又觉得芳草鲜美 落英缤纷
好像你我才初初相遇

*The original phrase describing a beautiful scenery “fragrant grass and profuse fallen petals” was quoted from a fable about a fisherman who stumbled into a utopian world, written around 421 AD by Tao-Yan-Ming, a famous politician poet.

a reflected tree in a tropical aquarium

Weekly photos challenge Mirror
This picture was taken in December 2014 at a tropical aquarium. It was a day trip with a young and energetic enthusiast for fish and marine lives. It was a clear day and this pond was outside the aquarium. The reflection mirrored the trees and the sky above quite well despite the shallow pond. what I like is the way the reflection blends with the fish and the rocky floor beneath the water. The picture becomes somewhat like a painting not by man’s hands.

p/s: I have recently been told that the aquarium will be closed and the creatures relocated to somewhere else if any. A sad story. It does reflect the real life and its uncertainty, even to the fishes.

happy mother’s day: a golden haiku for my mother

endurance patience
faith hope love joy peace
strength to strength she glows

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
And let her own works praise her in the gates.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)

woman’s half is beautiful

fifty percent

Why I name this blog fifty percent? From a man’s perspective it means the male population. From a woman’s perspective it means the female population. Similarly, the husband views his half s important, whereas the wife focuses on her half of the marriage relationship. Perhaps it’s not exactly equal half for each to hold. Nonetheless none can claim wholeness without the other in any relationship. Jesus said the two shall become one. A top-heavy situation cannot last. It topples. Likewise, I consider that a healthy, practical, sustainable intimate relationship between two persons only manifests where there is true equality. This means mutual acceptance and respect in words and in deeds. This calls for an acknowledgement of the validity of the other fifty percent and giving her/him an equal value in the equilibrium of life together. This blog aims to take the perspective of the often neglected and demoted fifty percent. Giving the many voiceless a voice. A rightful positioning as God has given to each of His children. Hence, this blog is named “A woman-the Fifty Percent’s Perspective“. I believe this the Creator’s original design for the human race.

Galatians 3:27-29 New King James Version (NKJV)

27 For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise.

She said,“I like adventures, and I’m going to find some.” (short quotes)

Louisa May Alcott quotes

“Preserve your memories, keep them well, what you forget you can never retell.”

“Life is like college; may I graduate and earn some honors.”

“I like adventures, and I’m going to find some.”

“Well, if I can’t be happy, I can be useful, perhaps.”
“I ask not for any crown
But that which all may win;
Nor try to conquer any world
Except the one within.”

“Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.”

“A faithful friend is a strong defense;
And he that hath found him hath found a treasure.”

“The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely.”

“I want to do something splendid…
Something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead…
I think I shall write books.”

“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us – and those around us – more effectively. Look for the learning.”

“Nothing is impossible to a determined woman.”-Behind a Mask: The Unknown Thrillers of Louisa May Alcott

“She is too fond of books, and it has turned her brain.”
―Work: A Story of Experience

“That is a good book it seems to me, which is opened with expectation and closed with profit.”
“Keep good company, read good books, love good things and cultivate soul and body as faithfully as you can”
―Rose in Bloom

“Wild roses are fairest, and nature a better gardener than art.” ― A Long Fatal Love Chase

“The emerging woman … will be strong-minded, strong-hearted, strong-souled, and strong-bodied…strength and beauty must go together.” “A real gentleman is as polite to a little girl as to a woman.” ―An Old-Fashioned Girl

“Simple, genuine goodness is the best capital to found the business of this life upon. It lasts when fame and money fail, and is the only riches we can take out of this world with us.”“Love is a flower that grows in any soil, works its sweet miracles undaunted by autumn frost or winter snow, blooming fair and fragrant all the year, and blessing those who give and those who receive.” ―Little Men

“Love is the only thing that we can carry with us when we go, and it makes the end so easy.”
―Little Women Book Two Book: Good Wives

The following are quotes from Little Women: (See the heart of a writer)

“I like good strong words that mean something…”

“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

“I’ve got the key to my castle in the air, but whether I can unlock the door remains to be seen.”

“Love Jo all your days, if you choose, but don’t let it spoil you, for it’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”

“I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.”

“Love is a great beautifier.”

“Because they are mean is no reason why I should be. I hate such things, and though I think I’ve a right to be hurt, I don’t intend to show it. (Amy March)”

“Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”

“…for love casts out fear, and gratitude can conquer pride.”

“Let us be elegant or die!”

“Don’t try to make me grow up before my time…”

“Be worthy love, and love will come.”

“I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March)”

“You don’t need scores of suitors. You need only one… if he’s the right one.”

“You are the gull, Jo, strong and wild, fond of the storm and the wind, flying far out to sea, and happy all alone.”

“…the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.”

“Conceit spoils the finest genius.”

“Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow…”

“Every few weeks she would shut herself up in her room, put on her scribbling suit, and fall into a vortex, as she expressed it, writing away at her novel with all her heart and soul, for till that was finished she could find no peace.”

“Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”

“I think she is growing up, and so begins to dream dreams, and have hopes and fears and fidgets, without knowing why or being able to explain them.”

“Wouldn’t it be fun if all the castles in the air which we make could come true and we could live in them?”

“I wish I had no heart, it aches so…”

“A quick temper, sharp tongue, and restless spirit were always getting her into scrapes, and her life was a series of ups and downs, which were both comic and pathetic.”

“If we are all alive ten years hence, let’s meet, and see how many of us have got our wishes, or how much nearer we are then than now.”

“I could have been a great many things.”

“life and love are very precious when both are in full bloom.”

“…tomorrow was her birthday, and she was thinking how fast the years went by, how old she was getting, and how little she seemed to have accomplished. Almost twenty-five and nothing to show for it.”

“…and Jo laid the rustling sheets together with a careful hand, as one might shut the covers of a lovely romance, which holds the reader fast till the end comes, and he finds himself alone in the work-a-day world again.”

they dress

early surprises

dreaming Spring calling arise

putting on best dress

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~This picture was taken in the depth of Winter. A neighbor’s front yard was suddenly in blooms. Lovely surprises. In the winter of human lives too, we make efforts to rise from bed, take a bath, comb our hair, put on colors and dress up. Is any guest coming? We do not really consider that when we do this dressing ritual. Human keeps ritual to maintain hygiene and sanity. So do other living things. They are not exactly things. They are living. All living beings have a beauty ritual to keep. And these flowers decorate themselves faithfully in the short burst of sunlight for the brief period of a semblance of Spring time, in the amazing grace of their Creator. Why be a beast when you can be a beauty?

Song of Solomon 2:12

The flowers appear on the earth; The time of singing has come, And the voice of the turtledove Is heard in our land.

a face of winter: a haiku

she looks out the train

and sees a face of winter

clear and bright and green

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~on her way down west she looks out and sees a spectacular green view in the depth of winter. It is close to evening and the sun is shinning. The field on the plain gives fresh hope of a renewal at hand even on old ground and hardened crust. she knows her 83 years old mother is a fighter. She believes in God. She is not going to give up despite the fracture and replacement of some body parts. She smiles when she thinks of her new born baby granddaughter, a new life has burst forth like an early spring, again a sign of fresh determined hope. She looks forward to this reunion with her own mother. When her mother is well enough to be on her own again, she will travel east to meet with her husband, her youngest daughter and the baby grand daughter. She smiles. God is so good.

¹² The righteous will flourish like a palm tree,
    they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon;
¹³ planted in the house of the Lord,
    they will flourish in the courts of our God.
¹⁴ They will still bear fruit in old age,
    they will stay fresh and green,
¹⁵ proclaiming, “The Lord is upright;
    he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.”

(Psalm 92:12-15)

grand-aunt’s visit 23: once a bird (a haiku)

she was once a bird

a mother perhaps in time

sadly snared and caged

~~~~~~~~Visiting museum is not the senior’s favorite. Because she prefers to see life, its vibrance, enthusiasm and hope. The museum records a past. There is no hope there. There is hope in the future. Where are the children of this bird if any? The grand-aunt cannot help but wonder. That is why she prefers to visit the botanical garden and the aquarium. But the birds are not the only ones snared and caged in museums. Many others share the same fate too. Even human. How she looks forward to hearing the songs of the living birds again in her own garden, a tiny park in front of her home.

~~~~~~~~

Song of Solomon 2:12 The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air.

Grand-aunt’s visit 22: cloudy perception (a haiku)

do you see the dog?

the puzzled boy shook his head

gold caterpillar

~~~~~~~~~~~The senior remarks: Often we see with what we already see in the mind: While I am thinking of my little dog alone waiting for me to return after this visit, you are thinking of your outdoor discovery lesson. But what does the cloud really look like? It does not matter. It’s your eyes working with your mind. The point is: You cannot come to a conclusion for others. You can only conclude your own life.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Fire and hail, snow and clouds; Stormy wind, fulfilling His word; (Psalm 148:8)

drops of her heart: a haiku

she expects the rain

lightly and gently it falls

every drop a heart

~~~~~~Shapes of things are seen clearly with her heart. The physical shapes may not look what she actually sees. She knows it is more real inside than outside. Love too.